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Andrea Grassi on Love as a Colour

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on January 23, 2011

Tagged: Andrea Grassi, Rant

I like to call this one: Singles Colour 001 – Dusty Rose Retreat

Single hearts are fickle, temperamental and subject to heat – mood rings. The first colour of the single heart I will describe is what I like to call the “Dusty Rose Retreat”. It was named after that awfully trendy shade in the 80′s that everyone jumped on – a movement in home decor, really. As the storybooks go, the fall of Dusty Rose happened in the early 90′s after its proprietors had actually lived with the colour and realized it was anything less than desirable – more like being on the inside of a Pepto-lined intestine – and walls stood dusty and rosey and ashamed and everyone hurried to cover them up (hopefully not with wallpaper, but I digress). This movement is a lot like what happens when we find a new romance. The new romance is pretty, pink, wonderful and we slap it on as soon as we can. But then we get used to the cadences of their burps, their requests “can I have your carrots?”, their phone greetings “Hi, what are you saying?”, the familiar view becomes grey, no matter how cheerful the exterior once was. Then comes the (all together now) … retreat!

It happens all the time, part of “the game”. Single people get what they want, and then they want more. Our confusion with romance reminds me of a little saying my Aunt once told me which goes “I used to think I had to have it, now I wonder what it was.” I caught myself doing this the other day. A guy I have known for a while recently asked me to dinner. I was thrilled for a whole evening. Then the next day, I was relating this news on the phone to a friend and, with my singlehood suddenly feeling threatened, I admitted “I’m happy to go out, but I don’t want him to like me too much.” Strange yes? You have a crush on this man for 2 years and then the moment he shows interest, the scene goes grayscale? The reason this fear set in me quick time was because I already knew him — the problem being that I could already picture us together. With less of a history, this fear would have taken (at least) a few dates.

Now don’t fear for me. It is true I am greedy when it comes to finding romance. Novelty is the thing. When the relationship slides into familiarity so comfortable that my partner can unapologetically fart – I’m out. And so what. Yes, I AM young and naive (25 years). My daydreams of romance are still so pastel – vague shapes in attractive colours. I haven’t lived (or perhaps let live) long enough to see the hard lines and shades, the badly mixed ones. And YES, I am afraid of commitment (but simply saying that would be a cop out). Rather, I am unafraid to ask for nothing but movie scenes (and ALL my carrots). In five years time, I’ll put myself through a review and see what measure of reality I can let in. Until then, I’ll continue to love without reason.

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Andrea Grassi has been either a freelance writer, editor, researcher, proofreader (or all) at the following publications: The Mark NewsThis MagazineWhere Toronto, Pique News Whistler, 24hrsSoundproofCelery (defunct, but influential Toronto-based zine), Job Postings (US), Campus Life Magazine, The Medium and scripted on Rogers Cable 10, among others. Her advertising creative has been featured in campaigns for Johnson & Johnson, Windsor Salt, Leo Pharma, Trispec Communications, Dobson & Toncic Insurance, Urologi Inc., among others.
Check her out: Wesbsite: / Twitter: @andGrassi / Linkedin: Andrea Grassi

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