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Alone Time written by Heather Clarke

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on February 14, 2011

Tagged: Heather Clarke, Rave

Being alone has kept me and my husband together.

People often ask us the secret to a good relationship, since we’ve been together since Grade 11. The truth is that being together for so long doesn’t mean it’s effortless. Our relationship still takes work. And some of that “work” is knowing when to get the hell away from each other.

Yup, if I could sum up our relationship-saving advice, it would be two words: “time alone.”

I have seen couples spend every possible minute together. And you know what? It usually ends badly.

Everybody needs to be alone sometimes! Everybody likes to be alone sometimes! If you spend too much time with someone — whether it’s your parent, sibling, best friend, or partner — you are going to be cranky and fight about the stupidest stuff, just because you are SICK of each other!

When my husband and I were dating, we would hang out constantly. I wanted to be with him all the time, even when we’d squabble. I didn’t realize that we were fighting because we were spending too much time together, and neglecting our own interests.

Now that we are older and wiser, my husband and I understand the beauty of time away from each other. When we’re crabby and tired after a long day at work, one of us will cautiously suggest we go our separate ways for an hour or so. I read a book or dig out the sewing machine, and he plays a video game or watches a TV show. After we’ve both relaxed a bit, we can hang out again — and actually be happy to see each other!

Romantic gestures and foot-rubs are great, but seriously — the secret to staying together is being alone. Do you believe in alone-time?

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Heather is a 20-something wife, mommy, and writer living in Halifax. Check out her adventures at or follow her on Twitter @Laptops2Lullaby.

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