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Andrea Grassi on Love as a Colour: Singles Colour 002 – Windex Blues

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on February 14, 2011

Tagged: Andrea Grassi, Rant

Being “invited up” is not only a chance to be intimate with a new partner, but it is also a method of discovering who they really are. I’m not talking about their kink; I’m talking about their living spaces! Being in a person’s space says: where they’ve been, how serious/ grown-up they think they are (e.g. efforts at interior design), their stance on polygamy, how clean they are… etc.

Cleanliness a useful index with which to measure a partner’s state of mind – something I like to call “Windex Blues”. Like an anthropologist who uses artifacts to study a culture, you too can gain a sense of what he wants out of the relationship, or where being with him will take you just by looking around his pad. It says a lot about what they think about you too (e.g. if they cleaned it before you came).

There is nothing more attractive than who takes pride in their things, someone well-balanced who likes things clear but isn’t obsessing over that “streak-free shine”. If his place is neat – great. Smells good – even better. If he has his shirts colour coded and alphabetizes his cereal – questionable. To quote design deity Frank A. Parsons “The house is but the externalized man.”

(NOTE: I’m not condoning snoops — don’t look in his drawers (both kinds). And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the population of unkempt or anal retentive women either. Although explained from a female’s point of view, this rule is just as valid for women.)

The Blues comes when they score low. An ex, a real sweetheart, once threw up in the one of my favorite books. I was mad, but puke wasn’t the issue. The issue was that when I stayed over a week later, I saw the book still lying open on the floor, its pages curling and crusty (the puke had been wiped off, yes). Deduction: a boy out of control and lacking forethought (he never made efforts to replace the book). To contrast, another guy I was dating wouldn’t let me touch his computer for fear of fingerprints. Deduction: Anal, paranoid and would probably fight over closet space.

I could go on about soupy-smelling sheets, but that is another post.

Have you ever been saved by seeing someone’s space? Have you ever helped a prospective mate really clean themselves up?

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Andrea Grassi has been either a freelance writer, editor, researcher, proofreader (or all) at the following publications: The Mark NewsThis MagazineWhere Toronto, Pique News Whistler, 24hrsSoundproofCelery (defunct, but influential Toronto-based zine), Job Postings (US), Campus Life Magazine, The Medium and scripted on Rogers Cable 10, among others. Her advertising creative has been featured in campaigns for Johnson & Johnson, Windsor Salt, Leo Pharma, Trispec Communications, Dobson & Toncic Insurance, Urologi Inc., among others.
Check her out: Wesbsite: / Twitter: @andGrassi / Linkedin: Andrea Grassi

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