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A BRILLIANT MESS written by Anonymous

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on March 30, 2011

Tagged: Anonymous, Rant

I’m just going to Rant for a moment here because this is something that I just don’t understand.

So I live with a man – the love of my life, in fact – who is brilliant. Certifiably “gifted” and educated as such. He was raised with the most idealized moral and¬†hygienic¬†standards taught to him by a stunningly Scottish Goddess.

However, I don’t believe this man knows how to put soap to sponge and wash a fork and meet the Health Standards that restaurants are to.

This is shocking and alarming considering I’ve now inadvertently taken on not only the role of lover and partner, but of housekeeper as well.

He also seems completely confounded by the use of drawers. By this I mean I don’t think he grasps the concept of putting things in drawers, on shelves, in a closet, just to name a few. The idea of “a place for everything” and “everything in its place” is really just too much for him to take. If he were a robot (which he very well may be) I’m sure something would short-circuit if he attempted to take on such concepts.

Yet he takes up a new language every year. This past year it was Arabic. (Yes, he’s also learning to write in Arabic.)

However absurd his inability to be organized may seem, he does manage some consistency; no matter what, when I go to do his laundry his underwear are individually tightly packed into neat packages, wrapped up in his undershirts.

I hate to say it, but what the f*ck?

My quandry is such: do I just accept him as he is and continue as his servant? Or do I lock him in a port-a-potty for a week so that the notion of dirt, germs, and general disarray outright traumatizes him as it does me?

My solution is slowly moving towards that of hiring a third party to deal with it. This may be the only solution to save our relationship!

What about you readers? How do you deal with someone who is entirely useless at the simplest of chores?

Back to Rant or Rave

2 Responses to A BRILLIANT MESS written by Anonymous

  1. Mil. says:

    This is such a window into your home life! I think he’s got some chores to learn, straight up.

  2. I’d know for a fact that hiring an occasional housekeeper has saved many a marriage/relationship. It’s worth every penny!!! You just have to accept we are different creatures. I see every speck and my husband could walk and step over a pile of trash and not notice it. That’s the way it is. I tried to change him., but that didn’t work and was getting poisonous. Now we have some help and it’s a huge weight off my shoulders and he pays for it, and doesn’t get resentment from me. Double win!!!

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