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Blonde, Bronzed & Confidential: Q & A “Hug It out”

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on March 31, 2011

Tagged: Blonde Bronzed & Confidential, relationship expertise

If you’re looking for to-the-point with a bit of flare advice, look no further.  Jen Kirsch, a relationship expert, columnist and blogger tells it like it is.  Her hit blog Blonde, Bronzed, Twentysomething has become the go-to site for twentysomethings in need of relationship advice.  With daily emails requesting she have a ‘Dear John’ type question and answer section, we selfishly snagged her to help you out with your dating dilemmas. Jen has a Bachelor of Journalism from Ryerson University.

Dear Jenny,
My boyfriend and I have very different styles of communication.  When he’s upset he becomes the strong silent type and needs his space, whereas I’m the kind of gal who wants to solve things immediately.  I want to respect his way of coping and give him said space, yet I can’t help but feel like I’m shortchanging myself in turn

How do I go about both the timing and the tackling of the resolve next time we have an argument?

Signed,
Hug it Out

Dear Hug it Out,

Instead of focusing on how to argue properly to fit both of your needs, why not – instead – look at why you are arguing in the first place?  Many couples tend to relive the same argument over and over again, and though the arguments may be presented or triggered by something different, it often comes back to a core issue.  Take time to focus on what the issue is.  With a heightened awareness, you’ll be able to address the issue once and for all, with hopes of avoiding these arguments altogether.  Instead of waiting until you’re at your limits, approach your boyfriend one evening when you are both in a calm, rational space, to ensure your voice gets heard, as opposed to when you are both worked up and don’t have the ability to listen to one another.

Signed,
Jenny

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You can also follow Jen on Twitter @BlondeBronzed and Facebook.

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