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Cooking Crisis written by Heather Clarke

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on March 21, 2011

Tagged: Heather Clarke, Rant

My mother-in-law is an excellent cook.
I am not.
You can see how this is a problem in my marriage.

Darling Husband grew up with a mother who cooks amazing meals, from scratch, three times a day — plus desserts! This is good, because it means we get great dinners when we visit my in-laws. But it’s also bad, because it makes my cooking look so paltry in comparison.

I’m a little less … proficient … in the kitchen. You want dinner? Here’s a scoop of Hamburger Helper and a side of frozen vegetables. You want dessert? Here’s a popsicle.

I can cook a few things well. Like … scrambled eggs. And tacos. Oh, and I make a mean homemade pizza — I can even get the dough to rise properly now, after years of frustration (and thin, holey pizza).

Darling Husband is an even worse cook. He is excellent at cooking bacon and nachos. Luckily, I love bacon. And nachos. But we can’t live on those alone, unfortunately.

I do most of the cooking in our household. I try not to subscribe to the old-fashioned — and way sexist! — notion that a wife should be a good cook. But … damnit, I want to be a good cook! They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I must have taken a different route or something, because if that were true, I’d still be single.

So I keep trying. And studying. And experimenting. Darling Husband is very sweet about it, and will try anything I cook. But when I force him to tell me his opinion on a new recipe, his answer is usually the same polite two words: “It’s different.”

Ouch. “Different” is not good, ladies. When a man says his meal is “different,” that translates to “Um … This is different than anything I have ever eaten, and I do not care to eat it again. Ever. But I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry.”

Of course, I want him to give me an honest answer when I ask how he likes my cooking. It’s just that I want his honest answer to be that he loves it. Is that so hard?

Who does the cooking in your relationship?

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Heather is a 20-something wife, mommy, and writer living in Halifax. Check out her adventures at or follow her on Twitter @Laptops2Lullaby.

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