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“It’s Not You, It’s Me” written by Christy Laverty

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on April 21, 2011

Tagged: Christy Laverty, Rant

The last piece I wrote was about gifts and whether I would prefer diamond rings or the gift of housework from my husband. And it got me thinking.

Is it him or is it me?

I think the line “ It’s me not you” might apply in this case. I got thinking about the idea of husbands and kids chipping in to help keep the house tidy and everyone doing their share of the housework. I don’t think there is a woman out there that doesn’t think her husband could be doing more, some days, to help around the house. Right?  And I would put myself in that category for sure BUT I think the real problem might be me.

I might be bad at delegating. OK, let’s face it, I like to be in control. I have a hard time letting things go and letting other people do things in their own way. I know, it is hard to believe… me, a woman, a mom, having control issues.

So when we talk about how to raise a boyfriend (or husband), I think maybe we women need to think about whether we are good teachers? Can we actually delegate, communicate, express what it is we really need, want and desire? And I don’t think this is just isolated to housework. It applies to just about every area of our lives, ultimately are we truly able to say what we expect from our men?

I think I am learning to let go and delegate to others and that it comes with age. I just turned forty years old and I am just starting to realize life gets a lot easier if I can ask for help when I need it, take control when I need to and hand over the baton to my very capable and loving husband when I need to. I think I am still in training, so to speak, but with a little time I think I can say I have been cured of my controlling ways (OK, I realize that might take a REALLY long time).

What do you think? Is it them or is it us? Do we need to learn how to be better communicators to help raise a boyfriend?

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Christy Laverty is a mom, wife, broadcaster, journalist, writer and blogger …all of the above but not always in that order. You can follow her on Twitter, @ImFreckles, and read more of her writing on her blog, Freckles the Mom.

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