Ad 728×90 costco amex truearnings

Blonde, Bronzed & Confidential: Q & A “Fishing For Compliments”

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on May 12, 2011

Tagged: Blonde Bronzed & Confidential, relationship expertise

If you’re looking for to-the-point with a bit of flare advice, look no further.  Jen Kirsch, a relationship expert, columnist and blogger tells it like it is.  Her hit blog Blonde, Bronzed, Twentysomething has become the go-to site for twentysomethings in need of relationship advice.  With daily emails requesting she have a ‘Dear John’ type question and answer section, we selfishly snagged her to help you out with your dating dilemmas. Jen has a Bachelor of Journalism from Ryerson University.

Dear Jenny,

I compliment my boyfriend all the time.  There are so many great things about him, plus I think he’s super sexy, so I try to always let him know just how fond I am of him whenever the thought comes up in my head.  I catch him blushing as he says thank you, a sign to me that my words have been acknowledged and appreciated.  Problem is, I don’t feel like my great attributes are acknowledged by him.  He seems to be good at taking compliments, but never seems to pay any my way.

He’ll sometimes whistle once I’m ready for a night on the town with him, but I see this whistle as somewhat sarcastic since he never really tells me nice little nothings about my physical appearance, or things I do and I’ve heard him whistle at his female friends in the same way.  My last boyfriend complimented me everyday and though there were other downfalls in that relationship, I always knew just how attracted he was to me, and loved how special he made me feel.

How do I get my boyfriend to pay me some compliments?  I feel like if I tell him to, that it will seem phony once he does but I know I need to feel special in a relationship to feel fulfilled.  Help!


Fishing for compliments

Dear Fishing for compliments,

I can tell you have great communication skills by the way you wrote out your question.  And might I say, you seem to be very in tune with your own needs and wants.  It’s great that you are with a mate who you admire, but I totally get the whole want to be admired in return thing.  When we choose to be with someone, we want to feel that they like us just as much (if not more than) we like them.  How frustrating it is when they don’t acknowledge that.  Since fishing for compliments will only make you feel worse off if he doesn’t bite on the bait, next time a whistle is sent in your direction, ask him to “define his whistle.”

By doing so you’re asking him directly (but not in an under pressure kind of way) to put words to his action.  If he tells you his whistle means that he thinks you’re smokin’ hot (or something of the kind) then give him positive reinforcement; tell him how good it makes you feel to actually hear the words.  Us women are verbal creatures; we need to hear just how fond of us he is, and need those words backed up by action.  Use your fab communication skills and hopefully your man will put an end to the whistling and up the ante on his words.  By the way, maybe leave this screen open on your computer to show him that if he rarely pays you any compliments, it’s likely a slap in the face when he whistles at his friends.  Just saying…




You can also follow Jen on Twitter @BlondeBronzed and Facebook.

Back to Rant or Rave

One Response to Blonde, Bronzed & Confidential: Q & A “Fishing For Compliments”

  1. Marisa says:

    Great work, Jen! Great to see you communicating well too.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>