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Blonde, Bronzed & Confidential: Q & A “Leave Me Hanging”

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on May 24, 2011

Tagged: Blonde Bronzed & Confidential, relationship expertise

If you’re looking for to-the-point with a bit of flare advice, look no further.  Jen Kirsch, a relationship expert, columnist and blogger tells it like it is.  Her hit blog Blonde, Bronzed, Twentysomething has become the go-to site for twentysomethings in need of relationship advice.  With daily emails requesting she have a ‘Dear John’ type question and answer section, we selfishly snagged her to help you out with your dating dilemmas. Jen has a Bachelor of Journalism from Ryerson University.

Dear Jenny,

My workdays and most evenings are extremely busy with meetings and networking events, so I use BlackBerry Messenger to keep in touch with my man when I don’t have the privacy (or time) to make a phone call.  I love how quick and easy it is for us to connect, and engage in conversation throughout the hecticness that is our lives, but it drives me mad when he picks up my message during a back and forth convo and just doesn’t respond.

I don’t get why he starts a conversation and then just disappears.  It takes a second to send a message and I think it’s somewhat cruel to keep me hanging. It makes me feel like I’m not a priority which ends up spiraling to a bunch of different thoughts of frustration.  I always respond to his messages so he feels heard and tended to – is it so bad of me to want that in return?

How can I get him to not leave me hanging as often as he does?


Leave Me Hanging

Dear Leave Me Hanging,

We’ve all been there.  We sit anxiously, with our phone in our hands as we see the little D (which indicates a delivered message) next to his Blackberry Messenger name turn into an R.  Often times, when our R (which indicates a received message) goes unreturned, we let our minds go into overdrive, bringing ourselves down with negative self talk such as telling ourselves ‘He doesn’t care about me,’ and ‘I’m not a priority.’  Yes it’s ever-so-annoying when he doesn’t respond right away, especially when he has such an instantaneous and subtle device to do so with.

But he may just not be aware of the importance you place on your device as a tool to stay connected when you’re separated.

Instead of reacting next time he receives your delivered message with a snappy ‘Hello?’ or ‘?’ or a rampage of ‘Why are you ignoring me/you don’t care about me’ messages, take a deep breath, remind yourself that he is just as busy as you and let the negative emotions pass.  Later on, let him know that you’re the kind of girl that needs constant reassurance, and something as little as him not responding to a message throws you for a loop.  If he cares about you, which he must, because he’s with you after all, then he will be more aware and attentive in the future.




You can also follow Jen on Twitter @BlondeBronzed and Facebook.

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