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Hating Dating written by Ryan Kerr

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on May 13, 2011

Tagged: Rant, Ryan Kerr

I find “meeting new people” a challenge.  All my friends consider me to be social and therefore dispute my claim that it’s difficult (even for me) to meet an eligible hunk o’ wonderful.  Truth is, I’m comfortable with anyone or any situation and I love adding sparkle to the party.  But at the end of the day, going from Facebook friend to bedfellow eludes me.

Recently, I started to realize why.

I like my one-on-ones with best friends more than getting dolled up and tripping the light fantastic.  PJs and a movie over uncomfortable shoes (yep, even men’s shoes can be uncomfortable) any day.  I prefer lounging on a long-time friend’s leather love seat with a glass of Chianti over flailing my arms wildly at a dance club.  I hate hoping that stolen glances can communicate my deep inner spirit, passion for art, and most of all, my love of communication.

I guess that translates to: I don’t like meeting new people.  Or maybe meeting them that way.

The internet is worse.  “Wut u lookin 4?” lacks humanity.  It also lacks basic grammatical rules, which I interpret as the manifestation of a lazy, stupid person who wears Velcro running shoes and tube socks his mom gave him at “xmas 03”.

It’s a last resort.

So enter the friend connection.  Meeting potential suitors through besties is a fantastic option.  It’s like cutting the queue and skipping the awkward line of “I’m just checking to see if you have 45 cats or eat raw chicken” questions.  Suddenly, you’re in the VIP lounge, sipping Armand de Brignac and the rest of the world fades away.  Or on his faded leather love seat watching the “Magic Bullet” infomercial again.

Point is, it won’t matter, because once you’re there, you can worry about other more important things, like who is paying for that bottle of Armand de Brignac…

Ryan Kerr lives alone with his 45 cats, and eats raw chicken.  When not refusing to play the social games responsible for 21st Century match-making, he is begging friends for introductions.  Ryan also wrote a guide to growing up called “On Growin’ Up…a guide“.

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