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Seven Year Bitch written by Tracey Nolan

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on May 4, 2011

Tagged: Rant, Tracey Nolan

Two years ago we went out to dinner at a semi-fancy restaurant in our neighbourhood to celebrate our seventh anniversary. They were, I should add, seven great years with no shortage of stimulating conversation, no awkward, uncomfortable silences and no flying plates. That is, until that night.

For some reason, when met with the expectation of a romantic evening together, we both froze.  I couldn’t have been more uncomfortable if I had shown up for a blind date and found the TLC Tree Guy there waiting for me. Nothing against the Tree Guy, I’m sure he’s lovely, but let’s be honest, a blind date with him would be awkward.

Something in me felt like instead of sitting across the table from my lovely, funny boyfriend I was in court defending myself or ready to address the United States Congress.

Ladies and Gentleman, the state of this union is strong!

Yet, as strong as our relationship is, the burden of having to be nice, having to be romantic, having to say something of substance (just because of the date on the calendar!) made us both irritable, bitchy, bumbling idiots. We rushed through our meals, skipped dessert and headed home, cloaked in an unfamiliar awkward silence. Once back in the friendly confines of our home, me in my yoga pants, he in his slippers, we cuddled on the couch and watched a rerun of the West Wing.  If we couldn’t string a coherent sentence together, we’d let Aaron Sorkin do it for us.

From that point on, we’ve made a conscious decision to avoid mandatory romance whenever possible. Anniversaries and Valentine’s Day go virtually unnoticed.  I think it makes the other 363 days a year that much richer.

I don’t think that this would be the answer for every couple though. Sometimes I wonder if we’re doing the right thing, or just the easy thing. Is cutting our losses in this area, acknowledging that we’re not good at that kind of romance smart or are we merely quitters?

How would you deal with being part of a couple that fails so completely at traditional romance?

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Tracey Nolan is a writer, photographer, girlfriend and new mom living and working in Toronto. Find her online at and Follow her tweets at @misstraceynolan. Come on.  You know you want to.

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2 Responses to Seven Year Bitch written by Tracey Nolan

  1. Tania Valladares says:

    Read the Kamasutra!

  2. jep says:

    My wife and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, and it’s a great relief. We go out for dinner sometime around our anniversary but don’t put any great pressure on it. If one of us is inspired to give a gift at dinner, we do, but there’s no expectation and no pressure. We enjoy our love for each other all the time, when it feels good to do so. We’ve been doing this for 16 years and are both happy and still in love. Maybe shedding the exterior pressures is the way. Either that or I just have the chillinest wife in the world, next to Tracey.


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