Don’t Ever Settle written by Kim-Lan Tran
Posted By Rebecca Eckler on June 22, 2011
It was several years ago when I had met the man who I eventually thought I needed. (Of course years later I’ve realize it was a load of foul garbage).
I was a bright eyed 20 year old, finishing up my 3rd year of university, becoming increasingly more active and interested in extracurricular activities. I decided that for my fourth and final year of school I’d help kick-start orientation for the new-comers. This included events, which of course came hand in hand with pictures posted on Facebook.
One day I received a friend request on Facebook from a man I had seen once or twice at school. I knew he was fairly involved with school but had never spoken to him. I tentatively accepted the request. A day later he sent me a message that said “hey what’s up? How has your summer been?” Funny enough this little message unloaded many late night chats and eventually daily texts. I thought he was interesting, funny, and mildly witty, but to be honest: I was never fully attracted to him.
A week later we decided to meet, and when he didn’t offer plans I ended up driving us around for hours, talking, and eventually I coerced him into grocery shopping. Overall I thought it was an amusing hangout, he immediately asked for another date that night.
Fast forward a few weeks, he tried to pay for dinners, and he… well tried to kiss me. Initially I was baffled because I thought we were just friends. After a month or so he slowly grew on me and ultimately I convinced myself that I liked him as more than just a friend.
We eventually dated, talked some more and then had a little spat and went our own ways. Months later, on exactly New Years Eve, he sent me several drunken texts apologizing profusely and claimed that he had always felt terrible about how we left things off. I thought “hey, we had fun, why not hangout some more.” The same routine happened; I forced myself into thinking that I had feelings for him.
I gave up easily in that relationship, but at the same time I put in far too much of myself. The relationship itself was rocky and incredibly unstable, full of unnecessary drama and jealousy. Insecurity was masked as ‘love’.
Looking back, now that I’m in a fulfilling relationship with a man I’m madly and truly in love with, I realize that my feelings were truly amicable at best.
Girls, don’t ever settle, I certainly believe in following an initial spark or at least some sort of attraction.
How often have you settled for someone you weren’t so crazy about? Regrets? Glad you toughed it out?
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Aside from being in an extremely happy relationship with both the founder of dazzle.me and crunching numbers, Kim enjoys staying active with running, swimming, and eating! She’s a small woman with huge attitude. You can follow her rants and opinions @kimmeridge