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Chasing Ideals written by Alessia Galati

Posted By Rebecca Eckler on July 11, 2011

Tagged: Alessia Galati, Rant

I think we’re all a little bit guilty of this one – when you get so wrapped up in the idea of someone and how they’ll fit into the ideals you have for your life. So wrapped up in fact, that you nix rational thought and head straight for unrequited LUST.

You look past the real person standing in front of you, who they are and what they stand for. And instead, focus on other less meaningful qualities like they meet your ideal height requirements for a partner and look the part, or have a really cool job.

Or, you’ve come to that age when you feel life starting to slow down and you want to settle down. (Not to be confused with settling.)  This person likely brings a check-list of reasons to the table on why they could be the perfect mate, and that’s exactly where you get stuck – forgetting to ask yourself, ‘is this person perfect for me?’ Without knowing that answer, you’ve already started to picture your future together.

So you start chasing it, full speed ahead.

You want to make this person your everything because, from what you can tell in the short time since you’ve met, they fit the picture of the partner you had always envisioned. Literally, the image – down to hair and eye color. And it’s all mental, far over the physical, and barely touching upon anything real emotionally. It fits logically, on paper, so you see it through.

Now, having been on both sides of this fence, I’ll tell you what I’ve learned. When it comes to matters of love, let your heart do the talking and tell your head to shut it. And somehow, when it’s right, they’ll already be on the same page. Without your head and heart operating on the same wavelength, your relationships already have an expiry date – regardless of how many gold stars he gets for ideal boyfriend of the year.

I’ve come to believe it’s more important to work on and enjoy finding out what you want most in your life and in a partner, instead of meeting someone and expecting that they’ll answer these questions for you. Or worse, throw you into a race towards a finish line you can barely make out.

Have you ever found yourself caught up chasing an ideal you barely believe in? Or sticking it out with that ‘good on paper’ guy?

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Twenty-six year old Alessia Galati is the Buying Assistant in ladies wear at the Bay, and is currently dating. She adores her friends, loves being in love, and can’t go a day without her fashion mags. Although she’s new to the blogosphere, she’s been reading and writing for decades. Talking about relationships, dating, boyfriends and the like has always been her thing and she has more than a few tales to tell. She should blog and tweet more than she does so why not help her along?
Follow Alessia Galati on Twitter: @alessia_marie and check out her blog, Estilo.

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One Response to Chasing Ideals written by Alessia Galati

  1. I understand this post in a very personal way. I congratulate you for having the courage to write something like this, not many people would admit the ways in which they become confused. I think you hit on something that everyone struggles with at times. Other people can change our world and wish thinking, no matter how bad for us, can be comforting.

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